Getting Back Out There: Tips for Dating Post-Breakup
For those of us who want to launch into dating post-breakup, it can be scary, overwhelming, or an exciting jolt of confidence, or somewhere in the middle. We've consulted Onward's go-to dating expert and this week's Onward guest blogger, Lily Womble of Date Brazen for her tips on how to prepare yourself for navigating the good, the bad, and the Tinder Fails.
So you’ve decided to get back out there.
This can be more complicated than it seems with internal messages screaming, “Just do it! Dating is a numbers game!”, plus your parents and coupled friends who say things like, “Just put yourself out there!”
It can be hard to know where to begin.
Which is why I’m sharing my Three Top Tips for People Starting To Date After a Breakup.
1. Only use one dating app.
They all basically have the same pool of people, so you’ll just torture yourself by toggling between several. Just pick one and delete the rest off your phone. Your mental health will thank you.
2. Set a time limit.
We’re all guilty of mindless swiping. But unintentional swiping leads to unintentional results. Meaning a lot of matches that you don’t want to talk to and dates you don’t actually want to go on.
Try setting a 10-15 minute limit a day for yourself to swipe. This will save yourself time and overwhelm.
3. Be your weirdest self in your profile.
The number one question I get as a dating coach is this: “What should my profile look like?” Generally, we jump to, “What will make me most desirable and attractive on this app?”
Look, dating is vulnerable, and putting yourself out there on a dating app can feel like exposing yourself to a room full of strangers. I get why we’re all trying to look the same on dating apps.
But think of the small group of people in your life who really get you. They probably love your weird obsession with Gilmore Girls and your fierce opinions on Meghan Markle.
You’re on a dating app to find the small group of people who will love what you bring to the table. Creating a profile that represents your weird, beautiful self will attract the right sort of people your way.
You’re not for the many, you’re for the few. Try creating a profile and swiping like it.
If you’re interested in doing the work to create your weird profile, click here for the Date Brazen Make It Rain Weird Checklist. It's a step-by-step guide to start attracting amazing dates with your unique brand of awesome + weird.
Remember, what is meant for you will not pass you by. You got this dating thing.