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  • Writer's pictureOnward

Your Post-Breakup Creative Self

Onward guest blog this week by our pal, Creative Coach and impresario, Shanna Shrum...

There’s a reason cashmere clad divorcées flock to the local pottery class. Because separating yourself from someone is the perfect time to find out who you truly are and what you truly like. As an artist, creative coach, and former jilted lover I will tell you that one of the best and most enjoyable ways to do that is through creativity.

Research has found that couples tend to mimic each other and can take on the habits of the other. I always think of the scene in the classic 1999 romcom, Runaway Bride, where Julia Roberts tries plate after plate of eggs to find out how she likes HERS cooked because she always ate them the way her past fiancées ate them. Can you imagine hate eating runny yolks for 50 years in the name of love? I’d rather die alone.

Just Say No

Think about it though, if your ex was like “Ballet is dumb.” well, who the hell are you going to go see The Nutcracker with? And now that you’re single, who the hell are you gonna go see The Nutcracker with? The answer: Yourself. Yup. You. Break ups are a perfect time to start going on Artist Dates. Created by Julia Cameron in The Artist’s Way, the Artist Date is “a once-weekly, festive, solo expedition to explore something that interests you.” In fact, you are not under any circumstances supposed to share your date with anyone. Like seriously. Don’t do it. The point is to be alone. Got it? Cool.

As an avid Artist Dater I can tell you that they have become an integral part of not only my creative and coaching practices, but my sense of confidence and self-love. My past dates have included but are not limited to: making a dollar store flower crown, an absinthe tasting, hip-hop dance class, and a trip to Argentina.

Look at how jazzed I was to be alone in Argentina!

Jazzed in Argentina

There is something very powerful in experiencing pleasure and joy of your own creation. Each date proves to yourself that you got this. That you can enjoy life regardless of your dating situation. That you’ll be ok as long as YOU are there. With the added bonus that next time you’re back in the dating pool, you’ll know exactly how you like your eggs cooked.

Shanna Shrum is a creative coach, artist, podcaster, and event producer. She likes her eggs scrambled. You can find her at or on social media @LifeofthePahty on all platforms.

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